Many years ago, I invited a group of students to a professional networking event. For most of them, it was their first one.
We stood together near the entrance, looking at a room full of people in suits who all seemed to know each other. Then the students turned to me with the same questions:
"What do I say?"
"How do I say it?"
They weren't worried about closing a deal or landing a job that night. They weren't even comfortable with the first sentence.
I knew exactly how they felt. At my own first networking event, as an economics student in Richmond, Virginia, I walked up to a stranger to introduce myself and my voice cracked. Nobody had ever taught me what to say.
That's a big part of why I wrote How to Network Without Anxiety. And it's why I built something new: a free tool that helps you put together your opening line before you walk into the room.
More than just your name
"Hi, I'm Alex" is a start, but it doesn't give the other person anything to work with. A good opening line helps people understand who you are, so the conversation has somewhere to go.
In the book, the first step is to get your story ready. It answers three questions in one or two sentences:
Who you are: your field of study or your work
What you're aiming for: your next step or goal
Why it matters to you: the reason behind it
Here's the example from the book: "Hi, I'm Maria. I'm studying computer science, and I'm especially interested in cybersecurity because I want to help protect people's data."
In one breath, Maria has told you her field, her goal and what she cares about. Now you know what to ask her next. You don't need a perfect pitch. You need a clear one.
Then ask a question
An introduction opens the door. A question keeps it open. The book gives ten conversation starters, and these three work almost anywhere:
"What brought you to this event today?"
"How did you get started in your field?"
"What's one piece of advice you wish someone gave you earlier in your career?"
Questions show interest and make the other person feel seen. They also take the pressure off you. Curiosity cures self-consciousness.
Know how you'll move on
Many people dread the end of a conversation as much as the start. The book gives you a line for that too:
"It was really great talking to you. I want to be mindful of your time. Would it be okay if we connected on LinkedIn?"
When you know how you'll leave, it's much easier to walk up in the first place.
From teaching it to handing you the words
I've taught this method to students for years. But I kept thinking about that group at the entrance. Knowing the formula is one thing. Finding your own words, standing in a doorway with your heart pounding, is another.
So I turned the book's method into a free tool: the "What Should I Say?" Opening Line Generator.
You type who you are, what you're aiming for, why it matters, and what kind of event you're going to. In a few seconds you get three things, all based on the book:
Your opening line, built from your who, what and why
A question to ask, taken from the book's ten conversation starters
A polite way to move on when it's time to meet someone else
Don't love the first version? Click "Try another version" for a different style. Copy the one that sounds like you, and say it out loud once before you go in.
There's no signup to use it. If you want more, you can get the free Networking Event Kit: a phone cheat sheet and worksheets to prepare, connect and follow up.
Built for students, useful for anyone
I built it with students in mind: the first career fair, the first internship mixer, the first time a professor says "come meet some people." But that feeling at the entrance isn't only for students.
It's for the professional changing careers, the new business owner at a chamber mixer, the retiree joining a nonprofit board, and the person who just moved to a new city. If you've ever stood at the edge of a room holding a coffee and waiting for courage, this tool is for you.
A few reminders before your next event
Start with someone standing alone. They're probably just as unsure as you are.
You're not there to impress anyone or to sell anything. You're there to connect, to learn, and to see where you can help.
If you freeze, be honest: "Sorry, I'm a little nervous. This is new for me." Most people will appreciate it.
Follow up within 24 to 48 hours. That's where the real magic of networking happens.
You don't need to be fearless. You need to be prepared.
Go further with the book
The generator gets you through the first minute. How to Network Without Anxiety gets you through the rest: five steps to open doors and boost your career, with worksheets for your story, your goals and your follow-up. It's part of the From Invisible to Valuable series, with Skills for Career Success and Networking in the Age of AI.
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Quick answers
How do I introduce myself at a networking event?
In one or two sentences, say who you are, what you're aiming for, and why it matters to you. Then ask the other person a question.
What is a good first question to ask?
"What brought you to this event today?" It's easy to answer and leads naturally into work and interests.
How can I stop feeling nervous at my first networking event?
Prepare your introduction, one question and one exit line ahead of time, and practice them out loud once.
Is the Opening Line Generator only for students?
No. It was built with students in mind, but anyone who isn't sure what to say can use it. It's free, with no signup.
